What love and money have in collective - attraction
How many of us have ever felt that we've scared out of your wits our love away on some not good enough and unappreciative lover? Have you ever found by hand muttering a touch about an ex that integrated the words 'swine' and 'pearls' in among the expletives?
No, of course of action you wouldn't dream of rotary the air blue with brawny statements about hurt and disappointment. But you might well have wondered how your love could be wasted. What kind of a world is it where 'the power of love' - astonishing how the topic lends itself to song titles - is not paramount; where, different to what Beverley Knight sings, you can love in vain.
The thing is, for as long as you decide to see love as both mystery and miracle, blind passion and the magic word that sanctions our choices (including the most self-indulgent behaviours), you will deem - even with all demonstrate to the converse - that 'love conquers everything'.
But just assume that there is a Love Superhighway, just like the Wealth Superhighway. Just like the Wealth Superhighway, the Love Thruway has 4 lanes. "It has??!", you cry out in amazement. Yes, as of right now, it has. They are:
· Minding Your Own Business
· Managing Your Passions
Notice that the Emotional Gamble has no more place in the Love Arterial highway than the General Gamble does in the Wealth Superhighway. The point is, it's all about choosing your investments. If you elect to avenue your emotional first city into band with a bad track best and poor management, for anything reason, the probability are you'll lose it.
But does that mean your love was in vain, or was it more an crack at alchemy - and control? Were you using your emotional center to try and make a poor bet into a blue chip relationship? There's nil wrong with live the Emotional Lottery; provided you know that's what you're doing.
So back to the 4 lanes of the Emotional Superhighway.
Equity is the center you invest in the relationship. For your center to grow, not only do you have to invest it well in the first place, but if keep yanking it out on a whim, you'll end up construction big losses.
Property When you enter into a relationship, you both bring emotional chattels to the table; something from a scuzzy porch to a glorious mansion. From these early period you can build a collective portfolio? or not. And you can assert and overhaul the chattels as necessary? or let it run down.
Minding your own big business means maintaining your own boundaries and respecting your partner's otherness. Ok, it may be much easier to mind your partner's affair - all of the fun and none of the dependability - but it will put huge strain on interpersonal relations.
Managing your own passions is easily the grown up different to dumping bad feelings on your partner. 'I'll make in my opinion feel better, by receiving you to feel worse' is every bit as good a policy as administration up accept card debt to buy a Chanel handbag.
In the end, you could argue that your connection is a vehicle with you in the compelling seat. The choices you make ascertain whether you drive an old banger that isn't roadworthy or whether you glide down the freeway in a glorious high powered saloon.
(C) Annie Kaszina 2004
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